Ephemeral. When thinking of New York City based on my experiences, this is the only word that truly comes to mind. New York possesses several layers of conception, in which I believe each is much more circumstantial than the last, and the further amount of time that they spend within this area, the faster these layers will progress, and build different ideas. There is the physical space that the territory occupies, the spaces within that territory that have a more personal relationship, and the idea of the spaces within the city, to complete it, and even then, more arguments could be provided for others. An infamously popular location – it is only natural that this area possesses several abstractions behind it.

 As a resident of the city for all of my life, the abstraction simply isn’t as complex to me anymore as it is for tourists, or people who have never visited. This “idea” of a city which allows all of its residents to pursue its dreams seems laughable, but to the same degree, it holds my expectations for every other city to a particular cadence. This idea for me has never truly existed, due to my thoughts being influenced by the cold and hard reality that my parents instilled into me from a young age, as second generation immigrants who arrived to pursue the education and opportunities this abstraction had almost promised to them. 

That being said, I also cannot say that my “story” of New York is that of a sinister, malevolent entity which feeds off of your dreams and your money alike, until it slowly depresses you. I feel as of contrast to the many individuals that I’ve had the opportunity of studying recently, my expectations have always been realistic for my time here. I know it not to be the apparent location for the holy grail, nor the hidden method for attaining the seven-fold path and ascending into Nirvana. I also know it not to be this financial hell, with far too many resources for human temptation to preserve their good moral character, and transform into sinful demons. As I continue to study these accounts of those who have briefly stayed within the gates of this city, that these perspectives dictate unilateral issues, of biblical proportion.

I say this, but it cannot be expected as anything else. It is only natural for individuals to account for their own perspective, especially when tourists of the same kind merely only discuss in heavy detail about the extreme abstractions of the city, and leave out the small presences that make up the city. Often you find that most tourists usually visit the same places, in hopes of fulfilling their inner desires to visit the same places that many others have visited before them. A fine example of this will always be the Empire State Building. As a resident of the city all of my life, nary a time has passed in which I was walking past 34th street, that I have not seen several sightseeing buses and hordes of tourists, all lined up to visit the same skyscraper that many individuals have seen for years. 

This is a key point in which the abstraction is prevalent, however. As a resident of New York who has witnessed the same skyscraper several times, it is still wonderful to gaze at from time to time, as it truly is an impressive structure. And yet, I find it almost laughable, as someone who has experienced this circumstance so many times, that I am capable of witnessing tourists and guests from outside of the city paying hundreds of dollars to travel the city and visit the building. In emotionally excited states, enveloped in tears of happiness, or profound surprise with widened gazes, as their mind tells them that this is everything that the city has to offer at the time. This as you can determine, is one of the more humorous situations that you can find yourself in as a resident. Not because the Empire State Building and the other attractions of the city are not truthfully a sight to behold, as if they are not magnificent structures that deserve the ability to be displayed for all residents of the city. It is humorous because events like these are what contribute to the ephemerality of the city.

Frequent spectators and visitors take in the sharp gazes, take in the large amount of business and resources, and take in the large amounts of people as inspiration for themselves. They take all of these phenomena in, and subjectively use it to reinforce their values, telling themselves that the dream that they have always put off, the dreams that their parents told them were not accomplishable when they were younger, were suddenly realistic here, in this apparent utopia of growth and prosperity. While they are not exactly incorrect in saying that New York City possesses a lot more to it than other cities may have to offer, it is not exactly a utopia cultivated for their own experiences. The visitation trips and the ideas that follow always are magnificent, because that is what their minds want to tell them. 

Deep within their subconscious, they selfishly provide this abstraction of New York City with a responsibility. The responsibility to adhere to their dreams and provide them with the means to attain their previously untrainable goals. Failure to adhere to these goals will result in the abstraction of the city to decrease in quality, to gain a more negative connotation to it, as opposed to the previously perfect image concocted within their mentality. Whereas an individual success provides further to this deluded abstraction, further decreasing the reality that a city could contain some imperfections within it.

An example of these deluded expectations is especially shown in Joan Didion’s, “Goodbye to All That.” In this essay, Joan Didion describes her personal experience within New York City, and almost perfectly demonstrates the effects of this illusion of grandeur that most visitors not native to the city are often captured in. In this essay, she states, “New York was no mere city. It was an infinitely romantic notion, the mysterious nexus of all love and money and power, the shining and perishable dream itself”, (Didion, 231.) Within this, we already have an example of how far this false image extends to. It is one thing to say that New York has access to a bountiful amount of resources, due to its proficiency with business. Of course, I recognize as a native New Yorker that the culturally rich city with so many different backgrounds is unlike many other places within the world, but to say that New York is a utopia, is nothing more than a lie. New York as a location does not differ much from the rest of the world, so to claim that it could somehow provide supernatural gifts unseen by the rest of the world is in of itself asking to be disappointed, because you would be holding the city to unrealistic expectations.

Following this, we can see now why so many individuals make the same mistake. By personifying the city as if being resident to some higher deity worshipped for specific purposes, you take away the element of realism within the city, and forget that as a physical location it is not very different from the other locations in this world we share together. As a native to the city, I personally find some crude form of entertainment through this notion, as I have lived within this city all of my life, and I have not experienced the same illusion that she has. Though I understand that the city is truly great, and holds a lot of potential for pursuing lives you could only dream about – this does not equate to the city somehow being a paradise. As a child, my family members always told the tourists that they interacted with to always wait until they received their first rent notice, to see if this was truly a city with supernatural qualities.

Yet another example of this false idealization in practice is displayed within Meghan Daum’s “My Misspent Youth.” In this essay narrative, Meghan Daum tells the tale of a very similar stage in her life, in which she was captured by a false idea within her mind, that led her to a period of misery following her time in New York. Meghan describes being enchanted with a particular structure in New York, and because it alluded to her vision for herself, she allowed her life within New York to be consumed by this desire. Meghan states, “From that moment on, everything I did, every decision I made, every college applied to or not applied to, every job taken or not taken, was based on an unwavering determination to live in a prewar, oak-floored apartment, on or at least in the immediate vicinity of 104th street and West End Avenue, (Daum, 2.) In any sense, we can already determine that the location was not responsible for her delusions of grandeur, and if anything, it was solely through her own dreams and misconstrued vision that had allowed her to be consumed by her own desires.

It is one thing for a city to have access to more opportunities than other cities, and perhaps provide an appealing setting for residency, but to say that the city itself could alter the basis of human decisions to this extent would be nothing more than illogical. As a resident of the city, who can be said to have some experience with temporary visitors or residents, I can say that I’ve seen this particular altercation occur far more times than I should be able to say. As I was born and raised here, I can say that I’ve witnessed everything that the city has to offer. I can understand why some places are highly revered, and some other places, such as 125th street and Lexington, are not. It is not that I simply have not experienced the magic, it is that I do not think that what the city brings is truly magic.

Naturally, it must have its own social ecosystem that is specific to only New York, as this ecosystem is responsible for heavy praise and influence towards other observers, but ultimately, it is not as if the city has something integral within its design that separates it from other cities, at least design factors that can also be acquired. Contrary to these perspectives that state that the city possesses some spark of heaven here, and the flames of Hell in another, I believe that it is merely a prosperous location. I understand that other locations may not be as fortunate enough to have Deli’s accessible within walking distance, or the ability to jaywalk without consideration, or having beautiful apartment complexes – but this is not something that cannot be replicated by other places. 

I believe that the reason why New York is so unique is because of its residents. How they seem so separate at times and concerned with their own lives, and yet when the time comes, they always manage to become whole. The relationship that exists between a New Yorker and their sandwich maker at the Deli, or the relationship that exists with a New Yorker and a bus driver – these aren’t constructs that cannot be replicated by other cities, but it’s cultural effect is something that is specific for New York. That is the only true “magic”, if any, behind the city. The magic that these spectators are so bewildered by, and the magic that they believe is tied to superficial things, such as skyscrapers, venues, and places of residency. New York, to me, has always been about the culture, and that is why it has always prospered, and why it will continue to prosper.